


"I Do..."

by Buckesthetic



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1940s, Angst, Heavy Angst, Homophobic Language, Homophobic characters, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 10:37:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19060930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buckesthetic/pseuds/Buckesthetic
Summary: Loving eachother in a time like this is hard enough...and when word of the War gets closer, things only go for worse..





	1. Chapter 1

Word about the war was already throughout the city. Posters were plastered upon the brick walls. Their large text and bright colors made it quote hard to miss. The hushed whispers shared between parents would soon spread down the the children of the neighborhood down to the corner shop deli. The paper boy on his usual morning route delivered black and white news about the wars progress, who was winning and by how much. The place would buzz on about it.  
Now on the morning actual U.S troops had marched down the streets of Brooklyn had only added to the constant talk. Troops marched with their freshly polished shoes and starched up uniforms. Pearly white smiled had flashed at the ladies as they made their way to the store or to school. The ladies stopping from time to time to time, offering flowers and the best wishes to the young, brave men. These gentleman were putting their lives on the line to fight for the country they loved so dear. Their homes.

 

Steve Rogers had shot up from his sleep at the energetic sounds of cheering and the beating of drums for the troops were on their way to march down the very street he lived on.  
"Buck. Bucky get up or you'll miss it!" Steve was already out of the bed, dressing into an outfit. He was rather excited for the day. For as long as he could remember, Toy Soldiers with Bucky at his side. Him taking the role as Lieutenant.  
"Bucky!" Steve called again as he put on his shoes. He glanced put the window again seeing that the troops were now closer. The last shoe was slipped on before Steve took hold of his pillow and throwing it at the other man sleeping.  
"Alright, alright...I'm up.." 

The two rushed out of their apartment just as the troops were marching by. A wide smile split across Steve's face at the sight of them. He reached over and grabbed a small flower, walking to the edge of the sidewalk. Bucky soon followed still tucking in his shirt. The young man smiled and nodded at the groups of girls that had soon gathered around the two. They began walking out to hand the troops their picked flowers and Steve waited for an opened window. From the rather busy street, Steve suddenly met eyes with a pair of green ones. The troop was a freckled faced red head with a bright smile of his own. Perfect moment. They exchanged smiles before Steve took a hesitant step forward, slightly raising his arm. Bucky soon caught on and took hold of Steve's arm. 

"Excuse me ma'am, but I believe a red headed troop over there is missing a flower." The girl took. The flower and walled up to the troops.  
"Bucky." Steve's hands dropped to his sides. Without saying anything, Bucky took hold of Steve's arm again and dragged him back to their apartment.  
"The public can't know about us and giving that man a flower would only raise questions we really don't need." The door was closed behind them.  
"You're right. Sorry." Steve then glanced at the clock. "Shoot. I'm gonna be late." He started to rush around for his things as Bucky pressed his back against the nearest wall.  
"I'm sure your class is okay with having their teacher be a few seconds late-" The door slammed before Bucky had the chance to finish off. He sighed and the door swung open again.  
"I forgot my papers." Steve reached over to the table and grabbed the small stack, exiting again. "And my kiss!" Once again Steve opened the the door and lightly pressed a kiss onto Bucky's lips.  
"I'll be gone before you can come home. My classes are starting much later this month." At here, Steve was officially out.  
The apartment was dark by the time Bucky had returned. It was a cool night in the neighborhood. The curtains were opened as families gather to spend the last few hours of the day together before the time did come around where the young children would be tucked into bed. Before the mothers would finish the cleaning. Before the father would sit and smoke the last few inches of their cigar just as they were heading off to bed themselves.  
Bucky smiled at the silent night as he was settling down. He entered the bedroom to Steve, sounds asleep. His shoulders rising and falling as he slept on his side. Peace.  
He climbed into the bed, taking Steve in his arms.  
"You're home already?" Steve began to awake from his slumber.  
"Oh..sorry to wake you, Love." He kissed Steve's cheek, nuzzling into the smaller framed man. Steve sighed.

"G'night Bucky."

It has been three months since the troops had marched through the city. Talk about the war had died down a bit before sparking up again at what the radio had said. It spoke as followed:

"Ladies and Gentleman of Brooklyn, our troops are fighting as hard as they can yet they are falling faster than expected. They are now being commanded to fall back as far as they possibly can without reaching the city. If this keeps up we would have to read names to recruit new troops the help with the battle...more to come this afternoon.."

After the program, mothers took emotional hold of their sons and husbands. Tears fell as they began to pray. Pray for this all to get better. Pray for their loved ones to remain at home and live their lives as young boys and providing husbands.  
"This means-"  
"Don't start thinkin' like that Steve." Bucky walked away from the radio. Away from Steve. He tired to pay it off but fear was playing it's cards right.

The day ticked on slowly. Citizens unaware of what to soon come. The radio blared on again:

"Ladies and Gentlemen of Brooklyn, We have unfortunate news for you all. Our troops are now falling back. Running to fight another day..."  
The city froze as they listened. A radio played in every home and every classroom.

"...The following names are to report to city hall at the Recruitment Office immediately following this program.."

Names had began to be read aloud to the city. Steve sat on the edge of the couch, listening painfully. Bucky sat close, his hand intertwined with StSteve's  
The names had continued for quite a while. All out of order. Loud screams and cries were being heard throughout the neighborhood. Heart breaking at the names. 

"...David T. Whittner...James Buchanan Barnes.."

Steve's heart dropped at hearing Bucky's name. He didn't let go of the man's hand. He began to tear up and Bucky watched it happen.  
"S-Steve.." He tried to rest his free hands onto Steve's shoulder.  
"You can't go!" He was now at his feet. Tears cracking at his voice. Anger and sadness ringing and burning at his ears.  
"You can't go!" He repeated much louder. Bucky slowly stood once Steve began to cough. He too Steve by the shoulders to steady him.  
"I have to go..You know that I have to." He spoke calmly and watches tears stream down Steve's cheeks, Bucky's thumbs wiping them away. All Steve could do was drop his head at defeat. Once again Bucky was right. He had no power to stop him from going. He coughed again.  
"You can't be doing this. You're making yourself sick." They both knew he was already very ill and crying would only make it worse. Bucky wiped away tears of his own. He couldn't bare crying in front of Steve. He lifted Steve's chin to meet a now lightly reddened, puffy and tear filled one's he knew so well.  
"Hey there.." Bucky smiled weakly.  
"I don't want you to get hurt.." Steve spoke softly as Bucky pulled him into a loving embrace.  
"I won't get hurt."  
"Promise me?"  
"I promise."

The apartment was more quiet this time. The entire neighborhood for the matter was quiet. The talk had died down for worry was slowly lifting. The men of the neighborhood writing out their letters of reassurance, calming their mothers and younger sisters and brothers. Their elderly grandfathers and grandmothers. 

It has now been a month since Bucky had left yet time seemed to slow without his presence. Nights were colder and Steve already longed for the embrace. A warm touch.Steve was awake long before the sun was. He didn't leave the bed but instead laid to the side, staring at the bedroom door that sat wide open listening to the clock tick and tick away.  
Click.  
He heard the apartment door unlock yet didn't move to listen.  
He suddenly heard that soothing voice.

"Stevie. Baby I'm home." He heard the door shit and lock again. Footsteps soon followed, growing louder and louder. It was dark within the apartment but Steve knew very well that it was Bucky. He stopped within the doorframe and leaned against it like he would always do. Steve was sure it was Bucky.  
"Buck..your back so soon?" The light burning returned over Steve's eyes as tears began to form again. He watched through now blurry vision as Bucky made his way over to the bed and kneel in front of him.  
"I'm back, Steve. I came for you." Bucky spoke softly and rested a warm hand upon Steve's cheek. It was a touch he longed for. He longed for his Bucky and he had him. Steve smiled weakly.  
"Bucky.." Was all Steve could audibly get out and the other man responded with a light nod, his thumb tracing over Steve's lips.  
"Buck.." Steve reached out to the other man, eyes closed for the short moment to not shed a tear. Once his eyes opened again, Bucky was gone. The room empty and dark as it was before. He was left there, arm reached out to touch the man who wasn't really there. It hurt to realize it was a dream. Such a lovely one too.

 

"But..it felt so real..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters are now exchanged...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some name calling in this one but I have censored it!!!

It was now early May, a month or two after Bucky had left. The days seemed to stretch and the  
sun risen over the horizon only a tad bit less bright as the days ripped by but Steve kept a smile for each letter he received. In fact he was rather surprised Bucky had gotten them this far without troubles. How was he doing it?  
Well it was nearing their first break of the school year of Steve’s now mixed grade class  
The much older students of the class being ones from Bucky’s but he didn’t mind it much. They  
acted as they should and all. Finished their assignments and turned them as they left for break. Saying their goodbyes as they did so. A good class.

Alley ways. The night was at work through the city of Brooklyn. It was a cool time of the  
day as Steve ventured through the neighborhood after taking a quick stop at the post. Nothing  
from Bucky yet but he still held his hopes high. It was going to take time to get there and if  
Bucky hadn’t written a letter at all, Steve possibly knew the reason. Bucky was Sargent now. A busy rank of this fight. He felt safe knowing that the man he loved was fighting. For the  
country..and for Steve. As he walked through the dim lit streets, a..peculiar sensation dawned over the man. As if he was being followed but didn’t stress it much. He found to have that feeling on and off..since  
now Bucky had left.  
“You..” A voice called from behind. Steve didn’t respond. Call it a tip he learned from  
Bucky and he was going to use it.  
“Hey you.” Steve was suddenly turned around by the shoulder, facing a much taller and  
built stanger.   
“Cann ya hellp may with somethin’?” The stranger spoke in half slurred words. He was clearly drunk. Spent way too long at the bar and Steve was sure he could smell it in his breath.  
“I..I need som channge for the buss..” The stranger swayed, backing Steve up a bit to a wall. He felt his heart pick up a bit. He now began to panic.

‘Stay calm Rogers..Stay calm..’ he straightened up a bit and cleared his throat. “I don’t have change on me, sir.” He only tried to walk away only to be grabbed again  
and shoved against the wall. “On Come onn. You’re too cleared up to not have something.” Was the only sentence the stranger spoke clearly and began to tug at his coat. It was a coat he help close to him for Bucky was the one to buy it for him on his birthday. Steve finally panicked and rushed forward, slipping out of the coat.  
‘NonoNo!’ he mentally screamed for this Stranger stepped back and dug into the one  
pocket that held the letters, neatly folded.  
“No!” Steve reached for the coat only to be pushed back and hard. Back to the ground in fact. Back aching more than he had expected and breath nonexistent. By the time he had at  
least look up, the letter was looked at. 

“James..Buchanan Barnes? I’ve heard that name..somewhere..” He looked back to the letter and than to Steve.   
“You’re a F_king F_g!” The man’s voice boomed within the alley causing his heart to race.He took a large step forward as Steve scooted his way back, still on the ground.  
“Do you have a clue what I do to f_gs like you?!” The stranger grabbed his collar landing a solid punch on the jaw of Steve. He almost couldn’t see after that and wheezed for air. He was sure the stranger yelled a few more vulgar words and langed more good punches. “Hey! What the Hell are You Doing?!”   
“B-Bucky?” He tried to breath out painful tears began to fall. “Help..”   
His vision cleared and saw the stranger let him go and the savior wasn’t who he wish it was. An officer instead. Words were yelled back and forth Steve gained the strength to grab his coat and letters to make a run for it. Each step his lungs burned and heart ached but he kept going. He kept going until he reached the apartment, slamming the door behind him, locking it.  
He released and fell to the floor, gasping for air, he sobbed and begged for Bucky.

“Please..” Steve only sobbed until he passed out of sheer exhaustion in front of the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into letters...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a much short chapter, I do apologize before hand but chapter four will be longer...and more angsty.

   Upon taking a deep breath of air, Steve had shot open his eyes to find himself on the floor as he had last remembered. His head lightly pulsed for a reason he couldn't find and his body ached from running the night before. God he wished things were..different. Better for the type of loving they had found themselves. He was tired of the running away, keeping his mouth shut and head down. Tired of the secrets..tired of laying pretend like they didn't love each other he way they did and he could never convince Bucky to think the same.

Bucky...

     Steve's mind fuzzed a bit at hearing his name. Another aspect from the night before was brought back to him. The coat and letters. Both drenched with water and coat now ripped from his escape. The wet ink only made it hard to reach such loving words. Steve felt like crying once again but nothing really came. It as right of him not to have. He knew he had to pick himself up and stay strong. Bucky would've wanted him to. In fact he needed him to.  
    Steve's letter was going to be sent late for his mind wasn't ready to really speak. He didn't want to sound too helpless for it would only worry Bucky as he fought..He would't dare want the other to think only about his but what he was doing for his country. Their Home. 'Bucky. The mornings are now a bit colder without you but I know you are doing us all such wonderful things. I want you to know that things are still alright here at home. Teaching is now a bit slow as the students and their families head out of the city in hopes to avoid and crossfire but the news says you all are doing fantastic at keeping the fight back...Who am I kidding..Buck I'm scared and want you back..What if you get hurt and I'm not there to- I'm not with you. What if you get captured and tortured..What if you die?' 

Steve pulled out another piece of paper with not only a smile on his face but loving tears in his eyes. He picked up his en and continued to write a new letter:   
'Dear Blucky..'   
It started. 

•°•  
   
   "I love you and miss you dearly..Steve." Bucky smiled as he finished reading the letter to himself, holding onto every word with all of his heart. He too missed Steve. Every part of him he wished was at his side. He folded the sheet carefully and placed it under the thin mattress with the other ten letters that were sent. he planned to write back as soon as he woke up before the men moved out again. The weather now was cooler then before as snow slowly began to blanket the ground as flecks of fresh ice melted once they hit the ground. Their moves a few days ago had set the enemy back a few extra days so they had a few moments of relaxation before their next big push.

     The bedside candle was blown out as he made small arrangements to head onto sleep yet it hadn't came fast enough. Bucky only laid on his back in darkness, the faint music from another bunker was heard past his breathing, his hand reaching up to the dog tags reading his name, last to first and the number 107. Another key item had been placed on the same chain as well. It was circular and gold. Small enough to fit around someone's finger. Steve's finger to be exact. He drifted slightly as his head played out events of a pleasant dream of returning home. 

 

 

"I Do."

**Author's Note:**

> Oof..there is more to be told in the future- Buckle up and stay tuned...


End file.
